Finding the “I” in Divorce

It has been 19 weeks since my life took a turn I never saw coming.

Almost five months, but it feels like it has been a year or more.

Divorce is what changed my future.   I had a choice to make.  Do I allow this divorce and my ex-husband’s actions to rule my life and my future, OR do I turn this unfortunate circumstance into a bright future for myself?

On paper, it’s an easy enough choice.  It’s easy to say, I want a bright future, please.  Unfortunately, we can’t order a new future the way we order lunch.  So, how, in the midst of one of the most difficult things to overcome, do we find that bright future?  How do we find “I” again after being an “us” for so long?

I don’t have the road map for you.  I wish I did.  What I can offer is what my journey was and is, as I continue to heal.

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, “It gets better!  Just wait… in ten years you will look back and this won’t matter anymore”.

Ten years?  If five months feels like a year, ten years will take forever to get here (or about twenty years, give or take a few months).   While we are discovering the end of our marriages and relationships, or healing after the end, the future seems so far away.  Unattainable.  “It get’s better” isn’t what we want to hear.  It’s not what I wanted to hear.  I wanted someone to go through it with me.  Someone who was in it too.  I wanted to know I wasn’t alone in the loneliest time in my life.  Misery loves company, but I just wanted a community.  Women and men to exchange stories with, to laugh with, to cry with and to dream with.  People who knew my pain and could help encourage me in my weakest moments.  People I could help in the same way.

I want to share my story with you in the hope that you find comfort and perhaps, understanding and peace.  You are not alone.  I am here with you.

I am still finding my “I” in divorce and I hope you find your “I” too.

Thanks for reading,

Erin

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